The Aardvarkian

ISSUE III A.S. XXXIV

REGULAR ARTICLES

OTHER ARTICLES


SPECIAL CONTRIBUTORS

DOMINIQUE FOOSHA TOONE
MARGIE OF GLENN MORE
NAZA


BEHIND THE SCENES

These are the two people I have to keep thanking:
B. FARROW
D. TOONE
And not forgetting Bubbles the Chimp, who puts up with my prepubescent dalliances!


DISCLAIMER


This is The Aardvarkian! The (not so regular) publication for the (unofficial) Canton of Arrowsreach. Subscribing information is on Page 10. It is not a corporate publication and does not delineate S.C.A policy; just sexist, mysoginistic, sadistic and jelly flavoured rantings!

Copyright March 1999
Unless otherwise specified, articles may be reproduced as long as the original source is cited, and details of the citing publication are supplied to the Chronicler of Arrowsreach.

COVER:

THE PROPOSED DEVICE FOR OUR CANTON.
Please direct any comments to either the Seneschal or the Chronicler.
(THE CHEVRON IS WHITE AND THE LAUREL WREATH GOLD)


ORANGE ORACLE

So much has happened and yet, not an article for the Aardvarkian! This issue is both the Christmas Edition and the New Year Bumper Issue! (Plus a couple in between) Why is the Aardvarkian meandering along on its merry way? Laziness, but most importantly, lack of contributions! I can compose, write, interview, review and generally prattle on any given subject but I think that would be more than tedious... as this is a group collaboration and not the Ness News! Although I find myself more than fascinating I am sure that not everyone shares my devotion to me :)
So, same rules apply but with an exception... my favourite worker Queen Foosha will be cheerfully checking punctuation and grammar as her back breaking job does little to alleviate the hum drum life she leads!

To quote a wise man and a gourmet chef, "When in doubt, fry!" (Paul Bird -Notes to a Frying Pan)

LADY DRUID ORANGE GIRLIE


SENESCHAL'S BIT

In June we held the 'Boris is Back' Soup Kitchen and Tourney. The event was expected to be rather small, based on the bookings that we received. It was quite a surprise to see the attendance 50% higher than expected. In fact, there were so many people that we ran out of seats. Prince Boris and Princess Constance seemed to enjoy themselves and got to see and hear lots of interesting Arts and Sciences. I would like to thank all of the people who helped and/or organised the event; especially Shona, Vanessa and Marshall Privydigger, who spent almost the entire evening at the troll table.

We now have a hall we can use on Tuesdays. The hall will be used initially for Fighter Training, but it would be nice to see other people putting the hall to good use. Some people have suggested a Theatre Group or an Arts and Sciences venue. If you have any ideas, please let me know.

ATAR OF SARUM


PEOPLE PROFILE

FERGUS au FEUMAIL

A very attractive Herald with bulging biceps, a six pack stomach and a voice to die for! Witty, sexy and dashing he is the archetypal ladies man and to this, many a young lass can attest :) When not being pursued by hordes of devoting women, this James Bond can be found digging through mouldy scrolls and dusty leather bound books. Helping to document exotic, unpronounable names and places. Lucky was he, when this group came into (unofficial) existence as not one them needs help or is willing to pay for help and most importantly, can not be bothered even getting a name registered!
So, this casanova leads an idle life filled with many an empty hour that he hopes will be filled by lots of newcomers wanting unpronounable names filled with too many g's and not enough vowels! Give Arrowsreach's own Tony Bennet a chance to humilate and disgrace himself publicly when he goes to pronounce the next Welsh fighter!


HERALD'S REPORT

Greetings,
The last year has been a fairly quiet one on the Heraldry front. Most of our members already have their own devices and names, so I thought I'd follow up on a suggestion and try to compile a list of all the members of Arrowsreach and their devices.

If people could send me them it would be appreciated. Hoping you had a merry little Yuletide.

FERGUS au FEUMAIL


EDITORIAL FAUX PAS!

In Issue 2 of the Aardvarkian I buggered up 2 poems published:

'The Spot" by Marshall Privydigger
"Who Was There?" by Tadc O'Corcorain (Teig)

Due to difficulty in translating, wrong words were printed and I have been asked to rectify this and I shall by editing the original copy which is found on our Homepage.

In order to save myself further publishing gaffs like this, I ask that from now on, all submitted material apart from artwork be typed. This will reduce translation problems dramatically. (Ha!! Not my fault so there!)

Thank you to the artists who were more than understanding in regards to the hatchet job done on their master pieces! I promise to stuff up again anywhere in the near future!

LADY DRUID ORANGE GIRLIE


NEWS

- Unfortunately a founding member of Arrowsreach has moved to muggier pastures! We farewell Lady Seona Dunliath ni Sheachnaisagh and thank her for her wonderful efforts in regards to Hospitaller, feastacrating and contributing articles.
(On a more personal note... some of us lost a great friend to St. Florian's and she'll be sorely missed :))

* Despite that sad announcement above, we do have lots of happier news...

- the wedding of Bill to Kelly
- welcome Lady Nadia Stopka
- the appointment of Lady Nadia Stopka to the position of Deputy Arts and Sciences Officer
- Thorrgill ini gangini Bjor'sonn has also taken on the role of Chirurgeon for Arrowsreach!


WRITING AN ARTICLE FOR THE AARDVARKIAN!

Well, although my group shows great enthusiasm for publishing their own Newsletter... unfortunately they do not show this by 'contributing'!

So, as Chronicler and all around lazy person, I took it upon myself to write an article on 'how' to write an article.

This of course is only a basic guideline and is rather informal at that. As Chronicler I'm not particularly fussed on how one chooses to format or write their pieces.

The Aardvarkian is a rather relaxed Newsletter. I don't necessarily bother with punctuation or grammar but I am rather anal regarding spelling.

So here goes:
 

I guess an example of an article will help illustrate my point:

Example:
 

"Tom's Guide to Picking up Chickies in the S.C.A"

I like chickie's, especially ones who wear booby showing dresses! How to get these chickie's depends on your pick style, but I have come up with 3 guaranteed rules that will help any loser score!
  1. Say they have nice eyes
  2. Buy them copious amounts of alcohol
  3. Pretend to care about what they say! (and comment liberally from verse derived from latest Cleo -Dom)
This lads, will get you an invitation into the chickie's tent where you will then be given a guided tour of the pink bits!

So, next Rowany. Have a bath and try these tips on the first chickie you see at the tavern!

Lord Tom of Horn


Well, I hope this eloquent piece shows you that you don't have to have Shakespeare's talent to write an article for the Aardvarkian!

So, peruse any magazines, find what style most suits your writing and then write an article!

LADY DRUID ORANGE GIRLIE


A NEW HOME FOR HEAVY FIGHTER TRAINING!

As you all know the St. Joseph's Hall is now closed to our usage. A new hall has been found a little farther out towards the eastern suburbs.

WHERE:

1st Tunstall Scout Hall
Cnr. Springvale rd and Beryl St, entrance off Beryl St.

Coming from the Eastern Fwy you turn left at it's end, then Beryl St is the 5th street on the left [about 1 minute off !]
Coming from Maroondah Hwy you go over Springfield Rd, and then turn right at the first break in the road. [but I would advise going up to the Fwy entrance and doing a U-turn as the traffic is VERY heavy between 5-7:30 PM]

WHEN:
Tuesday Nights at 7:30pm - 10:30pm
COST:
Unfortunately there is a new cost of $5 to cover the hall. (It also covers tea and coffee)
SUI


INTRUSION INTO PROGRESSION

Whence cometh thou, most foul light
to interrupt gentle slumbers so rudely,
with eye piercing intent!
Like Apollo thou burst into
rooms and wage war on lovers.
Would that I was mighty Zeus and with
strong arm send thee packing like
foulest dog, to do thy masters bidding.

Would that light of day was delayed
Then the sweet limbs that entwine with mine
doubtless would recreate greatest passion.

How doth thy gently slumber? Wake now, fill
my morning with gentlest pleasure, then to dress
and play with merry sun until the night doth cloak
the cooling world, and realms of pleasure
wax with pregnant moon and wane to gentle slumber

DOMINIQUE FOOSHA TOONE


CONSTABLES REPORT

Greetings,
I think this is my first official officer position since I was Seneschal of St Bart's, taking over from Brian. It's funny where St Bart's people get to after a few years.

We have had a couple of events since the ball started rolling and I have quickly discovered that my job is all about forms. If we hold an event everybody has to sign a form (I think). We have forms for Members, and a form for non-members, a form for Combatants, and another for non-combatants, and we can't forget those forms for under eighteen's. Now just to make my job fun I get to photocopy photocopies of photocopies of blank forms so that we have enough forms.

All that toner has gone to my brain, so if you see me whittling a large club you'll know why. By the way, for those who don't know, the club is the symbol of office for the Constable.

William Cumyn


STICK JOCK'S GREATEST HITZ: VOLUME II

A FEASTACRAT'S PERSPECTIVE

What can I say......
It went off!
I don't know about you guys but I had a great time.
This has to have one of the best events I've been to in ages.
It felt like festival!
I spent the entire time pleasantly exhausted, met some really ace people, actually learnt a bit about fighting (gasp) and, thanks to the mass support of Ness, Kelly, Lucy, Pumpkin and Simimon (sorry about the onions man), managed to pull off a feast and picnic! Oh yeah, while I'm at it, thanks to Bill for working out that the spit hadn't run out of gas after all and most importantly to Kate for running the whole shebang and asking me to be part of it!
I've been asked for a few of the recipes used at the feast so here goes:
 

KHEER

(Got this one from Kate so god knows where it came from)
1/2 cup short grain rice
8 cups milk
4 cardamom pods
1 1/4 cup sugar
2 tablespoon slivered, blanched almonds
1/4 teaspoon grated nutmeg
1 tablespoon rose water

Boil milk and cardamom pods in large saucepan
Add rice and simmer
Stir it a fair bit until it goes all porridgey and rice is soft
(I found that dancing to Aretha Franklin helps at this point)
Add sugar and almonds
Let it cool a bit and then add the rose water
(I forgot this bit, so if you want the stickjock version, don't add it. And you have to dance. )
Sprinkle with grated nutmeg and serve
Scoff with great verve and gusto
If you have any left Brian will take it off your hands, no problem!
 

If you want the recipe for Thorrgill's Viking pies, you're going to have to bother him about it!
I would really appreciate some feedback food wise, so that I can build up a larger menu which is period and yummy!
Thanks again to everyone who helped out.
In service to your stomachs.

HELGA


WEBPAGES AND STUFF

We now have a new, stylish set of webpages to help us communicate to interested parties. The new pages all have a consistent look a feel with a menu on the left had side of the page. All we need now is some more stuff to fill it out. If you would like to contribute please talk to me about what needs doing. To find the webpages go to the start at http://home.mira.net/~evanessa

We also have two mailing lists, one for official Arrowsreach stuff, and another for general bantering. Please refer to the above webpages to find out how to subscribe.

Bill Farrow


A REALLY BRIEF HISTORY OF THEATRE

Theatre has developed over many thousands of years. The origins of theatre probably derive from rituals performed by primitive peoples. Such rituals were performed to worship gods and to tell stories.
In cultures where literary skills were not as developed, such rituals could be used to pass on knowledge to the rest of the people.

Many tribes throughout the world today still use rituals which are closely aligned to Theatre to fulfill the functions of worship and theatrical storytelling. Aborigines still use a form of drama in their corroborees. They may tell stories from the dreamtime or be dances of celebration.

It was not until people started to document history, in a written format, that it has survived to be handed down to future generations. Records of the history of drama and theatre.

The ancient Greeks were the first people known to utilise Theatre in a similar way to contemporary times. The ancient Greeks performed Tragedies, Comedies and Satyr plays. These were performed at festivals for their god, Dionysus. (Dionysus was the god of wine, song and celebration - the "party god").

Masks were often worn. The Tragedies concerned important people, eg. Kings, and their fall from power, usually because they failed to follow the rules of the gods, or sometimes because they were doomed by Fate.

The Comedies relied on the same subject matter as modern comedy. Comedies on TV relied on the human failing of others, to provide a topic for laughter. It was common to target famous people and politics in order to get a laugh. It is because we, the modern audience, do not know the people of these comedies that we are unable to appreciate them to their full extent. Can you imagine "Full Frontal" being understood by the ancient Greeks?

The Satyr plays provided short interludes between the tragedies and the comedies. Evidence of these Satyr plays is almost completely reliant on written accounts of these festival days, rather from scripts that we still have. Satyr plays were often rude and vulgar, even to the point of performers wearing fake phalluses of hugely comic proportions on the outsides of their costumes.

Following the decline of ancient Greece; the Romans adopted many Greek ideas in their empire. However, there were few notable Roman playwrights whose work has survived to this day. Instead, the Romans were more interested in grand spectacle. They used the theatrical type spaces that they built, such as the Colosseum, to present spectacles of real blood and excitement: the gladiators who fought both man and beast to the death, and even Christians pitted against ferocious animals, to provide entertainment for the Roman public.

Though we can create realism through fancy special FX for a modern audience with a sense of blood lust, the only way it could be achieved in Roman times was to actually do it in reality! Do you think you would enjoy violence in your entertainment to the same extent, if you knew the performer had to be maimed or die for it?

During the Dark Ages, the use of theatre was banned in many places throughout Europe as it was considered sinful in the now predominantly Christian western world. However, we do know that some theatre still existed, predominantly that written by religious people such as monks and nuns, to teach lessons of morality to a people who could not read and write. The nun, Hroswitha, was the most famous for this, and some of her work still survives to this day.

In the later Middle Ages, drama moved from the Church to ordinary people, but the subject matter was still primarily concerned with the stories from the bible, the lives of saints or teaching lessons of morality. These plays were called "mystery", "miracle" and "morality" plays. They were performed by Guilds of workers. The guilds were similar to our unions today.

These plays were banned in much of Europe by the end of the 16th Century because they were considered blasphemous by those who broke away from the Roman Catholic Church; founding what we now call Protestant Christianity.

However, during the Renaissance of the 15th and 16th century other forms of Theatre were born. Shakespeare and his contemporaries wrote at the end of the 16th century, and much of this work survives and is still relevant to modern audiences. The Commedia Dell'Arte also came into being in Italy and became practised all over Europe. It was a style of comedy using masks and stereotypical characters, and was performed by travelling troupes of actors, jugglers and acrobats. They performed in market places, inns, and palaces; wherever they could get an audience or an invitation.

MARGIE OF GLEN MORE


ARROWSREACH'S DRAMA THINGIE

Well... the overwhelming response to this idea was staggering.

Now to ask again... all are welcome to participate in an exciting new venture in the realms of theatre and visual stimulation!! So many agreed that it was a fabulous idea, yet none actually ventured forth upon official inquiry. Abit like contributing articles really!!

So, if you are interested turn up to Tuesday Night Heavy Fighter Training.

The above article will give a brief introduction into the areas we hope to explore. We will begin small, then move to bigger and better productions.

If you are interested but are strapped for time, or cannot make it to many events... perhaps you could contribute in other ways? For example; write sketches, donate costumes, contribute ideas or resources etc.

Hope to see you!


LOCHAC ARTS AND SCIENCES UPDATE

The third round of the Lochac Arts and Sciences competition for 1998 was held at Spring Coronet in Innilgard on the 14th and 15th of November. Two of the three sections were won by members of Arrowsreach with Lady Mady of Saarlands winning the pomander section and Margie of Glen More achieved equal first with her wooden chess board and ceramic game pieces.
MARGIE OF GLEN MORE


MARSHAL'S STUFF

The annual Saarlands Spring War saw many an intrepid Arrowsreach fighters take the field (on both sides). Fortunately only one authorisation had to be completed on the day. Pre-planning helps to make events run more smoothly. Once again Saarlands won the battle, clearly demonstrating the efficiency of properly mobilised units.

It seems Stormhold's loaner supply of arrows has been somewhat depleted since last Festival, so maybe it's time to start thinking about arrow making workshops, or perhaps even building up our own loaner supplies? Light fighting has been somewhat on the back burner in the last few months. Maybe it's time for the captain of archers to take responsibility for this?
(Arrowsreach does not have a Captain of archers as yet, so the position is available... -Ness)

Last year one of our fighters competed in Spring Coronet and a couple of fighters wayfared to Mordenvale Spring War. Plans are already afoot for Festival. Who's going? Remember early payment helps the organisers and saves you money!

Welcome to those new fighters who have been joining us on Tuesday evenings for heavy Fighter Training. Your enthusiasm helps to encourage the rest of us. Remember, there are many people who are able to offer help and advice, please just ask if you have any queries. None of us knows everything ('though we all pretend we do!)

MARGIE OF GLEN MORE


DAY OF THE BUSKAZI

The sheep bleated forlornly, as the hot wind blew over it, and around the ankles of the armoured combatants. They stood so statue like, in two lines, staring each other down. Threatening each other without moving, offering pain; motionless.
The sheep, eyes partially closed to the dust blowing around, starts chewing the dried remnants of the grass surrounding it, ending the tension of the moment, allowing the combatants to shift weight and adjust armour straps and weapons to a more comfortable position...

The vicious atmosphere thrilled the spectator, as she sat watching. The two sides of armoured men, poised and ready, focused on each other set her heart racing. Imagining one of them would pay her that focused attention, alone, behind closed doors.

Slowly wetting her lips, she ran her hands down her legs, to hug her ankles. The potential of such power, and violence, in her arms...

The man stood. Aware of his team around him. He was scared. He always got like this, the fear of battle loomed in him, but he always fared well. Just the beginning. Hated that. The pretend bravado. The silent looks. He hoped that everyone felt the same as him.
Amazed, the sheep stood rooted to the spot! Suddenly the two sides came charging at it. At the last moment it tried to break and run, but unable, it was scooped up and slung under an arm. Thrashing around, it was run down the field and it managed a small bleat before dying; as the man dived onto the ground, at full run, in full armour, with the sheep under him.

Turned off at the sight, the spectator, relaxed and reached for another grape. "Sheep guts on his armour, that's ganna be bitch to clean"

Bemused, and grinning from ear to ear, the man picked himself up, and looked down at the mangled mess that had cushioned, "Sheep guts on my armour, that's ganna be a bitch to clean!" thought the man.

NAZA


A NOTE FROM VANESSA

Well thank you to all who have contributed. I know that I haven't exactly been up to date in regards to putting together and getting the Aardvarkian out, but as you can see... I'm short of material. So, please enough moaning and bitching and get your fingers out of your asses and contribute.

In regards to those who have contributed... unless all relevant information is provided like 'publisher's details' I will not nor cannot publish your article. I will not compromise my position nor will I entangle myself in any legal debacle's regarding copyrighting.

I have enough on my plate as it is and I cannot keep organising and doing the work of other officers. If the position is too much, then find a replacement. I do not mean to be critical or harsh but enough is enough. It is time for those to take responsibility for their own actions or more the case... their own inaction.

As our Canton is in its infancy then is some work required, but people were made aware of the task they were undertaking. Actually, our Canton is moving so slowly that little is required of the officers. All it entails is a little planning.

I will thank someone who I believe has worked harder than I have in keeping this Canton moving and that is Bill.

I also wish to thank Dom who isn't even a member of the S.C.A and yet contributes so much.

I also thank Margie for her contributions... we all know that her time is precious.

Lastly, thank you to Dafydd, Tadc and Antonia who willingly contributed articles without having been asked or begged to do so.

I hope that the next edition manages to be 10 pages long. I chose not too continue the "My Trip To Rowany' tale as there is more than enough of me in this issue.

So, here are to great expectations, and usually... big disappointments!
 


SUBSCRIBING AND SUBMITTING

The Aardvarkian is now available online. Download at http://home.mira.net/~evanessa

Our plan is to make The Aardvarkian as interesting and as cheap as possible. So far the cost is $8.00 for 12 issues. If you are online, it will cost you nothing, as there are no printing or postage costs. Those wanting it mailed, pay for printing and postage. What we need for postage is:

NAME:
ADDRESS:
MEMBERSHIP NUMBER (IF APPLICABLE) :

Please advise me on any address changes.
Send information and any articles to The Chronicler to the address below.


ARROWSREACH REGNUM

SENESCHAL:
Atar of Sarum (Simon Tambourine) -9500 0013 or tambourn@NOA.NINTENDO.com

HERALD:
Fergus an Feumail (Stuart Kirkham) -9728 5072 or kirkham4@bigpond.com

MARSHALL:
Margie of Glen More (Marg Henley) -9736 1063 or henley.margaret.n@edumail.vic.gov.au

REEVE:
Marshall Privy-Digger (Michael Mazzei) -10 Napoleon Rd Ferntree Gully 3156 maxei@netlink.com.au

CONSTABLE:
William Cumyn (Bill Farrow) -9819 3714 or bfarrow@swin.edu.au

ARTS AND SCIENCES OFFICER:
Helga (Yvonne Van Vliet) -9546 8302 or vonpop@hotmail.com

HISTORIAN
Thorrgill ini gangini Broj'sonn (Thorrgill Corrigan) -9830 8210 or runeluc@crafti.com.au

CHRONICLER AND PUBLICITY OFFICER:
Lady Druid Orange Girlie (Vanessa J. Jones) -1/7 Wordsworth St. Mooroolbark 3138 or evanessa@mira.net